Reading and writing are my two greatest comforts when it comes to coping with placing my baby for adoption. Putting words to the overwhelming love and loss that come with placement is something that is so healing for me. Reading other people’s work helps me to understand that I am not alone in what I feel. Here are three poems for birth morhers that I have come across on my adoption journey that really speak to me as a birth mother.
The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein
Although this poem is not about adoption specifically, it describes the selfless love the giving tree has for the little boy. “And she loved the little boy very, very much. Even more than she loved herself”. Placing a child is a great sacrifice for a birth mother, one we make out of love.
Once there was a tree….
and she loved a little boy.
And everyday the boy would come
and he would gather her leaves
and make them into crowns
and play king of the forest.
He would climb up her trunk
and swing from her branches
and eat apples.
And they would play hide-and-go-seek.
And when he was tired,
he would sleep in her shade.
And the boy loved the tree….
very much.
And the tree was happy.
But time went by.
And the boy grew older.
And the tree was often alone.
Then one day the boy came to the tree
and the tree said, ‘Come, Boy, come and
climb up my trunk and swing from my
branches and eat apples and play in my
shade and be happy.’
‘I am too big to climb and play’ said
the boy.
‘I want to buy things and have fun.
I want some money?’
‘I’m sorry,’ said the tree, ‘but I
have no money.
I have only leaves and apples.
Take my apples, Boy, and sell them in
the city. Then you will have money and
you will be happy.’
And so the boy climbed up the
tree and gathered her apples
and carried them away.
And the tree was happy.
But the boy stayed away for a long time….
and the tree was sad.
And then one day the boy came back
and the tree shook with joy
and she said, ‘Come, Boy, climb up my trunk
and swing from my branches and be happy.’
‘I am too busy to climb trees,’ said the boy.
‘I want a house to keep me warm,’ he said.
‘I want a wife and I want children,
and so I need a house.
Can you give me a house ?’
‘ I have no house,’ said the tree.
‘The forest is my house,
but you may cut off
my branches and build a
house. Then you will be happy.’
And so the boy cut off her branches
and carried them away
to build his house.
And the tree was happy.
But the boy stayed away for a long time.
And when he came back,
the tree was so happy
she could hardly speak.
‘Come, Boy,’ she whispered,
‘come and play.’
‘I am too old and sad to play,’
said the boy.
‘I want a boat that will
take me far away from here.
Can you give me a boat?’
‘Cut down my trunk
and make a boat,’ said the tree.
‘Then you can sail away…
and be happy.’
And so the boy cut down her trunk
and made a boat and sailed away.
And the tree was happy
… but not really.
And after a long time
the boy came back again.
‘I am sorry, Boy,’
said the tree,’ but I have nothing
left to give you –
My apples are gone.’
‘My teeth are too weak
for apples,’ said the boy.
‘My branches are gone,’
said the tree. ‘ You
cannot swing on them – ‘
‘I am too old to swing
on branches,’ said the boy.
‘My trunk is gone, ‘ said the tree.
‘You cannot climb – ‘
‘I am too tired to climb’ said the boy.
‘I am sorry,’ sighed the tree.
‘I wish that I could give you something….
but I have nothing left.
I am just an old stump.
I am sorry….’
‘I don’t need very much now,’ said the boy.
‘just a quiet place to sit and rest.
I am very tired.’
‘Well,’ said the tree, straightening
herself up as much as she could,
‘well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting
Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest.’
And the boy did.
And the tree was happy.
Legacy of an Adopted Child, Unknown Author
This poem speaks to the fact that birth mothers are real mothers, just as much as an adoptive mother is. We each play a special role in the child’s life, and we do the best we can for them.
Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
The other you call mother.
Two different lives
Shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.
The first gave you life
And the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love
And the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality,
The other gave you a name.
One gave you a seed of talent,
The other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.
One gave you up —
It was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child
And God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me
Through your tears,
The age-old question
Through the years:
Heredity or environment
Which are you the product of?
Neither, my darling — neither,
Just two different kinds of love.
Love You Baby Boy, by Melody McCaid
This birth mother writes about the joy and pain of open adoption.
You spent the weekend with us,
It was nice….
It was very scary and never wracking, but I got over it.
You didn’t cry when I held you in my arms.
I am glad you didn’t.
And when he held you it looked so natural
I almost cried….
I know you’re doing well with them,
I know that this is for the best,
It just hurts sometimes
in my chest….
I try to fight it
like it doesn’t bother me….
But it does….
But when I saw you this weekend I was so happy
And I thought to myself, “I did the best.”
Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.
